I was sitting in the car last night and observing the shadow that my hand made on my leg.
The further my hand was from my leg the larger the shadow got - even to the point that it didn't even look like a hand at all anymore.
For some reason while I was doing this a comment was made about me getting over my fear.
It got me thinking.
Fears mirror the behavior of shadows a bit.
The further we keep ourselves away from the things that we are afraid of - the bigger and scarier they seem. Most of the time the anticipation that we give to our fears creates a sense of grandness - a disillusion about what there is to really be afraid of. We put such a space between us and the things we fear that we can't see them for what they really are.
It isn't until we become brave and get up close that we are able to really see our fears in their truest form.
To deal with life head on we have to put down our projected thoughts, close in on the distance between us and what plagues us, and take on ch…
I live a life of impaired judgement.
That’s why the wildest flowers rush to bloom in my arms.
And stories filled with truth boom inside my ears.
Your stories. His. Hers. And, my stories.
I can’t sleep with all these rules.
The air is too thin.
I want to learn to thrive in the thick of it.
And, melt magnificently in the heat of it.
Unravel and tangle into all new knots.
Find a way to slip through the cracks and expand to create
Experiment with a stance that is completely still and strong.
Then, crawl desperately towards the feet of everything I am
Kick up dirt.
And, rise again covered in messy, beautiful life.
I planted a bunch of seeds in my office this winter to try to work through a period of transition that I was experiencing. I bought them lights, watered them, talked to them often, over nurtured them...tried. Now that the sun has been high in the sky and the season is right...they are all growing wildly.
Lesson learned. No matter how much you try, you can't force anything to blossom in the wrong season. Even yourself.
You can plant the seeds. You can fill them with intention. But, until the time is right it's mostly about sowing hopes and waiting.
So, now I'll be thinking about the seeds I want to plant in my own life for the next season. What do I want to harvest when the time for growth has come to an end and it's time to store my energy up for the next natural transition?