“Signs, signs – everywhere there’s signs.Blocking up the scenery, breaking my mind. Do this. Don’t do that. Can’t you read the signs?” I’ve always played this little game with myself.When I’m thinking over decisions and I’m on the road I look at the license plates for signs.They have honestly encouraged me on decisions in the past…but I’ve never had as direct of a sign as I had yesterday.I was tired as can be and debating whether or not to go to the gym.I look at the car in front of me and I see this.GymJimDouble Whammy on that one. I couldn't argue, so I went.Cheers to little synchronicities and big signs!
I’ve really been thinking about the people that have come into my life.
About whether they have been relationships of chance, proximity (convenience), choice, or need. Or a little blend of all?
I’ve had people who stay for a long while – gently nudging at me for a duration and shaping my perception, my memory, my experience.
I have had people that come in quickly and do something so profound and impacting that they have altered me in that very instant.
Then there are the people I find in some ways the most intriguing. The ones that I have spent time next to for days, months, and years that never turned into any direct interaction. Passerbys - people we spend countless hours with and then easily walk away and never look back. People that were there but hardly present at all.
I suppose with some of these people it would be so easy to walk up and start a conversation, bond over location alone, but for some reason we don’t.
Smaller than yourself. Sitting comfortably in your skin. Bursting out of the seams.
Life can be quite a ride with many phases and many cycles, but here’s my take on them.
There’s a place in life for the sitting comfortably…and a place for bursting out, but you shouldn’t allow your time in life to ever be lived feeling smaller than you really are.
The healthiest places in life for me are the ones where I’m being challenged and I say yes to the challenge.
I have a tendency to get lazy at times…to stay away from things that require a huge exertion of energy or that require me to step out of my comfort zone. I never feel good about myself when I allow life to get away from me and when I'm shying away from thigns. Even so, it’s not always easy to break out of a phase like that.
I feel so alive when I’m pushing myself to new limits…trying new things, eating right, staying healthy, moving outside of my comfort zone.
I realize that there is always a need for feeling comfortable…knowing the place…
It's certainly not that I haven't wanted to write. It's just that every time I sit down to put my words to paper they come out clunky and disconnected. I try to doodle and the same. The map of my lines is disjointed and not entirely making sense. I keep looking for a reflection of myself in others and I struggle to understand what I see. I'm at a spot where I desire to feel connected. I think I'm craving the change of season and all of the social and personal transitions that come with it. Be patient with me and I will come back around. I keep telling myself that the act of writing involves only getting words on paper. They don't have to be crafted perfect or entirely thought out the first time around, they just have to be presented. So, here's to writing and reflection. In hopes that one of the two, or both, brings me back around.
I personally haven't been on the receiving end of a "yes or no" letter written on three hole punched lined paper for many many years. Well, until yesterday.
Please have a look at what the 13 or 15 year old (he wasn't sure when questioned by the cops about his age or year of birth) spanish speaking neighbor of ours was leaving in the door when Maura stopped him and asked him to hand it over.
This all happened at 10 pm.
Needless to say we sent our response in the form of a police officer to his home.
The boy explained to the officers that the letter was just a mix up. He had one in his hand for his girlfriend and then one for us that was going to be asking us to join him at chuch (which happened to be what he told Maura the letter was about when he handed it over to her.)
Very common mistake...sex proposition and church. Especially from a 13/15 year old.
So had we not sent the cops over I guess he was coming back to see what the response was.