Thursday, November 19, 2009

Winnie the - OMG I LOVE YOU - Pooh

"Well," said Pooh, "what I like best -- " and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called.
-- Winnie the Pooh

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Firing Up the Hibachi Grill

Had a fabulous dinner at the Japanese Steakhouse with family the other night...and I remembered to bring my camera. Here's a glimpse into our night.

I love hibachi!

Monday, November 9, 2009

The privilege of knowing and loving.

Out of all of the billions of people in this world…why you and why me? Why us?
Have you ever asked yourself those questions?

I have been thinking a ton of the people who are a part of my life.

It’s far too easy once someone is inside to forget all the itty bitty steps it took to get them there. The serendipity of meeting. The decision to connect. The dynamic of initial exchanges. The revealing of personal details. The observation of idiosyncrasies. The fighting. The making up. The shared laughs. The surrender of pride. Crossing the boundary into daily existence. The decision to ask a person to stay with you share a part of this lifetime. The realization that you don't ever want to be without them.

Friendship. Love. Connection in every form that it takes.

I don’t want to forget all of the reasons that human connections exist, especially the ones that are a part of me.

It is a complete privilege to know another human being on an intimate level. Think about how rare it truly is to let someone on the inside and how very few people in the world will ever be there.

We pass by so many people in our daily lives…this means that the ones we grow closer to are truly exceptional. They move in past the boundaries that so many people will never have the benefit of crossing.

I am so thankful for the people who have opened me up and who have opened up to me.
It is only through my exchange with others that I learn about myself, my needs, my values, my strengths and my weaknesses. It is only through my connections that I can even come close to understanding love.

I try to remember in every exchange that knowing someone isn’t a guarantee…it’s a choice and a blessing.

I am thankful for every person who has made my heart feel love and for every person who has let me love them in return.

My advice: Celebrate people. And tell them what they mean to you…too often we take for granted that they might know...and every person can benefit from hearing their importance every once in a while.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Disconnect. Reconnect.

It's been a month. Oh, it's been a month.

Have you ever gone through a period of life more as a witness from the outside - just not making a direct connection with the world around you?

That's where I've been for quite some time now.

I lost my conviction and because of that began wandering, but not really sure towards what. Well, the truth is that I actually wasn't heading towards anything - I was just letting go and waiting for a different moment. I was waiting for certainty to hit me.

I'd come home from work and want to experience complete silence. I wanted to close my eyes for a bit and reboot.

And I did. I've barely moved at all in a month's time physically, mentally, or emotionally. I was living in a disconnected reality. Half way between asleep and awake.

Yesterday, I began to feel better. And I want to share that with you all.

Sometimes in life we think that we need to make choices. And in the stress of trying to force ourselves to make choices we become paralyzed. Sometimes there just isn't an immediate choice to make. Sometimes we are making the wrong choice and our soul fights it with everything it has, cautioning us not to move because we are moving in the wrong direction. And sometimes we just need to accept things as they are right in a moment - to reconnect with reality exactly as it is and not make decisions.

I spent a month trying to box myself into some set of behaviors that just didn't fit me, and most certainly didn't fit my heart. Trying to make myself be okay in a moment that I just wasn't. And punishing myself for anything I felt along the way.

Because of that, I didn't recognize myself and wasn't able to engage life. I was a stranger in my own skin.

My advice: Do not do this to yourself. Life does take some figuring out sometimes, but you can't force it to happen all at once. You sometimes have to just let it unfold and trust that there is a plan bigger than your own in action.

I believe this is what I was denying for the last few weeks. My soul was doing one thing, my life another. The longer I tried to stop myself from living the weaker my soul got. My drive went down. My heart shut down. And beliefs shut down.

I am going to let myself be me. And with that conviction, suddenly I can feel again.

Happy Saturday.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Oh, Mishka

Some exciting and encouraging news!

I reached out to a fellow blogger, one that I have been following for months now, for support on the Addressed to Anonymous project. Today, she made my day and posted about the project. Her blog, for good reason, is very popular and could potentially help take the project to another level.

If you aren't already reading her should be. It's charming. Inspiring. Honest. And loaded with fun photography.

Check it out! And enjoy the post on Addressed to Anonymous.

Thank you to anyone who is working on their letters.

I got my first two yesterday and I know that there are more on the way :)

Monday, November 2, 2009

Blood. Photography. Life.

During one of my 7 a.m. appointments, my chiropractor started to explain the difficulty of measuring certain substances in the body utilizing blood work.

A single blood test captures one moment in time…the levels in the blood at one tiny moment – one frame in what is an entire slide show.

It doesn’t capture enough of the picture of what goes on in the body over an extended period of time. And for certain things, one moment doesn’t necessarily depict the whole.

You can't always judge health by the reality existing in a single moment. You can get an indication of how things are...but not necessarily a clear picture of what they will be.

I’ve been really into posting pictures on my shared blog,

One day in a moment of haste I sent over a picture that I absolutely do not like. When I roll past it I regret the moment I sent it over to be posted.

I have to fight the urge to let that one small slide ruin my impression of my own photography – the urge to allow that one slide to depict the whole.

What am I getting at here?

Simply this.

I’m trying to teach myself and remind myself to resist the urge to define life solely by individual moments.

There is always so much more going on than what we can see if we are constantly reacting.

It’s easy to lose awareness of the good or bad that came before if we are reacting to life in a tunnel. We start doing everything based purely off of momentary emotion – emotion not supported by context.

And the sad part about that is that once we react this way, we tend to keep reacting this way…because moments change and emotions do too. It’s inevitable.

I’m trying to tell myself to take a step back and put a buffer in between myself and the verbalization of my emotions. I'm not saying that I can’t have my emotions and I'm certainly not saying that they aren’t real. That would equate to avoidance. So, I'm still letting myself cry my eyes out when I’m sad and laugh hysterically when I’m tickled...I’m just resisting the urge to foolishly let myself believe that just because I’m crying in a moment that everything is sad. It’s not. That moment and that thing might be sad…but there is plenty of good outside of it.

My advice of the day: Live the moments…but keep your eye on the whole.

Birds. And Truth. And Music.

My truth hasn't lined itself up and because of that I write, but I write only to me.

In the meanwhile I have been moved nearly out of my own skin into the world if Ingrid Michaelson. Her concert was so touching and lovely. I want to share this song with you...because it's not on the CD and because it has got its wings wrapped around me.

Life from here looks entirely pretty.

Birds. Tiny, baby birds. I'm quite positive they sing from within her.