Firing up the Canon

I miss this blog. I've been going through changes...big changes in life...and because of that I haven't been drawing conclusions big enough to write about. But I miss it. So, what do I write about when I don't want to write about me? Or how do i get back to myself enough to write? Meanwhile, please keep checking out www.bepurdy365@blogspot.com :)

"Well," said Pooh, "what I like best -- " and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called. -- Winnie the Pooh

Had a fabulous dinner at the Japanese Steakhouse with family the other night...and I remembered to bring my camera. Here's a glimpse into our night. I love hibachi!

Out of all of the billions of people in this world…why you and why me? Why us? Have you ever asked yourself those questions? I have been thinking a ton of the people who are a part of my life. It’s far too easy once someone is inside to forget all the itty bitty steps it took to get them there. The serendipity of meeting. The decision to connect. The dynamic of initial exchanges. The revealing of personal details. The observation of idiosyncrasies. The fighting. The making up. The shared laughs. The surrender of pride. Crossing the boundary into daily existence. The decision to ask a person to stay with you share a part of this lifetime. The realization that you don't ever want to be without them. Friendship. Love. Connection in every form that it takes. I don’t want to forget all of the reasons that human connections exist, especially the ones that are a part of me. It is a complete privilege to know another human being on an intimate level. Think about how rare it truly...

It's been a month. Oh, it's been a month. Have you ever gone through a period of life more as a witness from the outside - just not making a direct connection with the world around you? That's where I've been for quite some time now. I lost my conviction and because of that began wandering, but not really sure towards what. Well, the truth is that I actually wasn't heading towards anything - I was just letting go and waiting for a different moment. I was waiting for certainty to hit me. I'd come home from work and want to experience complete silence. I wanted to close my eyes for a bit and reboot. And I did. I've barely moved at all in a month's time physically, mentally, or emotionally. I was living in a disconnected reality. Half way between asleep and awake. ~~~~ Yesterday, I began to feel better. And I want to share that with you all. Sometimes in life we think that we need to make choices. And in the stress of trying to force ourselves to ma...

Some exciting and encouraging news! I reached out to a fellow blogger, one that I have been following for months now, for support on the Addressed to Anonymous project. Today, she made my day and posted about the project. Her blog, for good reason, is very popular and could potentially help take the project to another level. If you aren't already reading her blog ...you should be. It's charming. Inspiring. Honest. And loaded with fun photography. Check it out! And enjoy the post on Addressed to Anonymous. Thank you to anyone who is working on their letters. I got my first two yesterday and I know that there are more on the way :)

Blood. During one of my 7 a.m. appointments, my chiropractor started to explain the difficulty of measuring certain substances in the body utilizing blood work. A single blood test captures one moment in time…the levels in the blood at one tiny moment – one frame in what is an entire slide show. It doesn’t capture enough of the picture of what goes on in the body over an extended period of time. And for certain things, one moment doesn’t necessarily depict the whole. You can't always judge health by the reality existing in a single moment. You can get an indication of how things are...but not necessarily a clear picture of what they will be. Photography. I’ve been really into posting pictures on my shared blog, www.bepurdy365.blogspot.com. One day in a moment of haste I sent over a picture that I absolutely do not like. When I roll past it I regret the moment I sent it over to be posted. I have to fight the urge to let that one small slide ruin my impression of my own photography ...

My truth hasn't lined itself up and because of that I write, but I write only to me. In the meanwhile I have been moved nearly out of my own skin into the world if Ingrid Michaelson. Her concert was so touching and lovely. I want to share this song with you...because it's not on the CD and because it has got its wings wrapped around me. Life from here looks entirely pretty. Birds. Tiny, baby birds. I'm quite positive they sing from within her.

After I got down wanting to claw my eyes out because of how embarrassed I am at the interpretation of me at work - I nearly peed my pants. Erin dressed up as me today. Holy tacos. This makes me laugh. The real me. Erin, as me.

Thank you, Sara!!! Glitter In The Air lyrics Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands? Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air? Have you ever looked fear in the face And said I just don't care? It's only half past the point of no return The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn The thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone? Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry? Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside? It's only half past the point of oblivion The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames Have you ever felt this way? La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la There you are, sitting in the garden Clutching my coffee, calling me sugar You called me sugar Have you ever wished...

I wanted to share a glimpse of my morning drive with everyone. The sky is so beautiful.

Today I ordered a grilled cheese and it came stamped with this pretty little recycle label on it.

When my grandma passed away and i still had things I wanted to say to her...I wrote them in a letter to her, but had no where to send it to. Yesterday I had a lot of emotions I wanted to purge. I wrote them and sealed them in a letter, but had no where to send it to. So I got to thinking...what if there was somewhere to send that letter anonymously. Some place to put it out into the universe and maybe even to get response (not from the intended recipient, but from someone who could relate or just wanted to provide comfort and wisdom). Out of this I started a new idea/blog/community share site. Addressed to Anonymous. Who do you have to say that you can't or just haven't? Who would you write a letter to if it could be anonymous? Don't tell me on here...start writing the letter. Send your letter anonymously to PO Box 365, Chagrin Falls, Ohio 44022. I'll post it on a blog. I'll encourage community response letters and open exchange. The more people that write, the more...

I'm alive and well...just still living in a land of silence. And my brain still needs it. So, please do forgive me. Here's what I can share...In my shut down I've been watching movies! Last night's choice was Kissing Jessica Stein last. I forgot how much I love that movie. I want to share a quote by Rilke that is featured in it a couple of times. "It is not inertia alone that is responsible for human relationships repeating themselves from case to case, indescribably monotonous and unrenewed: it is shyness before any sort of new, unforeseeable experience with which one does not think oneself able to cope. But only someone who is ready for everything, who excludes nothing, not even the most enigmatical will live the relation to another as something alive." -Rilke What are your "go to" movies when you need to shut off for a bit? Mine have always been: Eternal Sunshine of the Forgotten Mind Closer One Fine Day Bed of Roses Return to Me This month I...

There are times that I find it necessary to convince myself that I am tough. Even through very trying times I show up for work every day, laugh a considerable amount, and manage to function. Truth is though, sometimes you do need to shut down and find a release…or your body will find one for you. Relationship, health, stability, foundations – each has presented their struggles to me lately. And I’ve acknowledged them, but asked them quickly to pass so I could get back to just being me. I don’t like being the downer. I don’t like facing my fool. But last night I cracked…while sleeping. I was defenseless. I had a terrible dream and woke up already crying. Drenched in sweat and tears, forced to release. I wish that more often I would remember that what wells up inside inevitably overflows. I can shove off hurt or fear when I feel them, but the truth is they don’t go anywhere. They just sink deeper inside and hide until they can sneak up on me again. The best think to do with any emo...

Today I did it. Every morning I drive past a garden supply store on my way to work. And every morning I look at the rooster statue standing more than 5' tall in front of it and think, "I want a picture of him." And then I drive by. I'm either too late for work. Or just not in the mood. Or it's raining. Or I've got other things on my mind. In other words I'm full of excuses. I have spent more time reasoning myself out of taking that picture than it would have taken to just pull over and snap it. What changed today? The Details in the Fabric. It was recommended that I listen to this Jason Mraz song and pay attention to the lyrics. So, I did...and in listening I decided to stop paralyzing myself. To stop driving by just because I'm preoccupied or feeling lost. "Calm Down. Deep Breaths. And get yourself dressed. Instead of running around and pulling all of your threads. And breaking yourself up." And that's what I need to do. The way I...

Dear blog friends. There's a lot changing/happening in my life and unfortunately that has silenced my writing a bit. I feel so afraid to commit words here because in some ways I am a believer that you get back more of what you release into the world. And right now I don't know what I want...so I don't want to release anything. It's a "Be careful what you wish for" kind of thing. I hope that makes sense. I hate being silent here, because this blog...and the community it creates for me has become a home. And I don't want to let anyone down. Mainly myself. If you have any ideas on how I can help my mind to get re-involved with writing and sharing a bit...please pass them on. I could use a little motivation right now. Until then, please keep taking a look at the other blog project I am happily involved in at www.bepurdy365.blogspot.com My camera has become a cherished and constant companion for me. My use of it evolves every day. Happy Fall! Jamie

Rebecca Lynn - Bryan White

Baby says I can't come with him And I had read all of this in his eyes Long before he even said so Why go, I asked You know and I know why And it'll be just as quiet when I leave As it was when I first got here I don't expect anything I don't expect anything Take care I've been hurt before Too much time spend on closing doors You may hate me, but I'll remember to love you Goodbye Don't cry You know why And it'll be just as quiet when I leave As it was when I first got here I don't expect anything I don't expect anything All the waves of blame arrange as broken scenery As they steal your best memories away What if I was someone different in your only history? Would you feel the same As I walk out the door Never to see your face again Never to see your face again And it'll be just as quiet when I leave As it was when I first got here It'll be just as quiet when I leave As it was when I first got here I don't expect anything I don't ...

Cleveland Public Library. One of my favorite places downtown. It's just beautiful.

Under the open sky In the middle of a downpour I said your name. The drops suspended mid air And there was a complete cessation of noise. I looked up expecting a bridge overhead But instead found you rolling through my mind. In that moment it became clear... If only I say your name My world will wait for you. As if in applause of my realization A flock of birds rose into sight Scattered wide Then came in tight A heartbeat. A pulse. A sign. You. It's you. It's you.

I've been dealing with some silly medical issues this past week so I've been quiet. I don't really even know what's going on or I'd share in more detail. My body is just feeling a little out of sync in many ways. I'm sleeping it off and checked in with the Dr. just to be sure. She's looking into some stuff. More updates later. Here's what's fun this week ~ :) Courtney and I started a joint blog that is going to be lots of fun...we were going to build up some content and then post it...but I'm too excited. Welcome to be purdy 365 . Courtney is so talented...she rocks. Enjoy her pretty little blog header design. :) I just placed my first online order for Yogi Tea. After receiving the Himalayan Apple Spice sample in the mail I got quite attached. I've looked, but I still haven't been able to find it in any store. So, I gave in and ordered it online along with: Classic India Spice Breathe Deep Echinacea Immune Support Cold Season Te...

Regina Brett's 45 life lessons and 5 to grow on By Joey Morona September 20, 2007, 2:03PM Originally published in The Plain Dealer on Sunday,May 28, 2006 To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update: 1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. 4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 5. Pay off your credit cards every month. 6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. 7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. 8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it. 9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. 10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. 11. Make peace with your past so it won...

Cleveland's Little Italy. Enjoy!