Firing up the Canon

When there's nothing else to say, find your inner kitty.

“Signs, signs – everywhere there’s signs.   Blocking up the scenery, breaking my mind. Do this. Don’t do that. Can’t you read the signs?”  I’ve always played this little game with myself.   When I’m thinking over decisions and I’m on the road I look at the license plates for signs.   They have honestly encouraged me on decisions in the past…but I’ve never had as direct of a sign as I had yesterday. I was tired as can be and debating whether or not to go to the gym. I look at the car in front of me and I see this. GymJim Double Whammy on that one.  I couldn't argue, so I went. Cheers to little synchronicities and big signs!

All these human connections. I’ve really been thinking about the people that have come into my life. About whether they have been relationships of chance, proximity (convenience), choice, or need. Or a little blend of all? I’ve had people who stay for a long while – gently nudging at me for a duration and shaping my perception, my memory, my experience. I have had people that come in quickly and do something so profound and impacting that they have altered me in that very instant. Then there are the people I find in some ways the most intriguing. The ones that I have spent time next to for days, months, and years that never turned into any direct interaction. Passerbys - people we spend countless hours with and then easily walk away and never look back. People that were there but hardly present at all. I suppose with some of these people it would be so easy to walk up and start a conversation, bond over location alone, but for some reason we don’t. It could be that in that particu...

Smaller than yourself. Sitting comfortably in your skin. Bursting out of the seams. Life can be quite a ride with many phases and many cycles, but here’s my take on them. There’s a place in life for the sitting comfortably…and a place for bursting out, but you shouldn’t allow your time in life to ever be lived feeling smaller than you really are. The healthiest places in life for me are the ones where I’m being challenged and I say yes to the challenge. I have a tendency to get lazy at times…to stay away from things that require a huge exertion of energy or that require me to step out of my comfort zone. I never feel good about myself when I allow life to get away from me and when I'm shying away from thigns. Even so, it’s not always easy to break out of a phase like that. I feel so alive when I’m pushing myself to new limits…trying new things, eating right, staying healthy, moving outside of my comfort zone. I realize that there is always a need for feeling comfortable…knowing th...

It's certainly not that I haven't wanted to write. It's just that every time I sit down to put my words to paper they come out clunky and disconnected. I try to doodle and the same. The map of my lines is disjointed and not entirely making sense. I keep looking for a reflection of myself in others and I struggle to understand what I see. I'm at a spot where I desire to feel connected. I think I'm craving the change of season and all of the social and personal transitions that come with it. Be patient with me and I will come back around. I keep telling myself that the act of writing involves only getting words on paper. They don't have to be crafted perfect or entirely thought out the first time around, they just have to be presented. So, here's to writing and reflection. In hopes that one of the two, or both, brings me back around.

We are out of here for the Easter Holiday and Spring Break. I've got a bit of trip anxiety. Kind of normal for me. But I'm looking forward to a great week away and to seeing and exploring a new place. Happy Holidays to everyone! Take flight in your lives and laugh a lot. It's the stuff that really counts!

Anybody been there and want to make suggestions on things we should see and do? We are looking for both indoor and outdoor fun...not sure yet how the weather is going to be.

Welcome inside The circus of wheels Mothers, lovers, fluids, meals Welcome inside Don't put anything down We're transporting all that's not tied to the ground Lay your life on a bed Lay your life on a table We'll move you as long as we see that we're able Who you'll see here You just never know But you can be sure they'll have wheels in tow A rolling cart full of meals For a portable tray To glide up to a bed three times a day So, roll in. Get cozy Now, get up. Roll out. Through the tunnels of pushers Of mechanics and doubt The circus of wheels is open all day And all night for the few who are willing to stay It's noisy and cold, constantly moving But don't settle in - the drone's never soothing Written - August 2005.

I personally haven't been on the receiving end of a "yes or no" letter written on three hole punched lined paper for many many years. Well, until yesterday. Please have a look at what the 13 or 15 year old (he wasn't sure when questioned by the cops about his age or year of birth) spanish speaking neighbor of ours was leaving in the door when Maura stopped him and asked him to hand it over. This all happened at 10 pm. Needless to say we sent our response in the form of a police officer to his home. The boy explained to the officers that the letter was just a mix up. He had one in his hand for his girlfriend and then one for us that was going to be asking us to join him at chuch (which happened to be what he told Maura the letter was about when he handed it over to her.) Very common mistake...sex proposition and church. Especially from a 13/15 year old. So had we not sent the cops over I guess he was coming back to see what the response was. If he had been a bit o...

(Monday, November 26, 2007) I fell asleep leaning against the bathroom wall. I fell asleep leaning against the bathroom wall. Lonely is a funny place to be. Comfort is often found while standing still in places I know people pass through. But it's lost the moment anyone speaks to me directly. I've lost my energy for speaking. I like to sit and stare and absorb the noise of other people's lives until it becomes a distant rumble and I can close my eyes. In other people's houses, in the comfort of strange couches – that's where I find retreat, my chance to sleep. When I lay back in my bed I'm too aware of the weight of my head. And while it hurts to lie there, I don't seem to want to get up. So, I stiffen as I wait, hollow for another day. Another place to lie and drift away.

Man with a plan 70mm from where he stands Lens in hands White calves sport shorts Jacket draped on waist Spring-time pace, no haste Wobble walk from here to there Grass and water, needs a share Stroller is confining A loyal friend on padded paws Lunch and breed with drooling jaw One chain away from freedom Chit chat gossip in the sun Circling bikes, no bond undone The thaw of winter season

{I've got lots or writing on myspace that I don't want to lose - periodically I'm goign to transfer pieces over here to share with you} Rock (Feb. 5, 2008) We lay still on that rock overlooking the water Soaking in the heat and hypnotized by the breeze dancing across soft leaves Strangers play chaotic around us It's here that we are able to find silence Where we forget that we are headed down separate paths Yours to the world and mine to the four walls and tiny voices I call home We've always loved these places together Taken the time to unwind where our lives intersect And I always find you inside of me when I imagine my tomorrows My beaches, my forests, my books, my calm I take you there with me, to where I can't let go To where we don't have to say goodbye Here is where you'll stay, and where I'll find us should we part You can always meet me in the middle, in your mind And for a moment we'll rewind Taking back what we fought so hard to find.