Firing up the Canon

The weekend was an interesting combination of accomplishment and setback. However, I do want to share with you that the stumps that have been an eye sore in my front yard for the past 2 years are finally out. Well, two of the three at least. And instead of taking the completely lazy way and just paying to have them removed...a friend came over and lead a excavation that resulted in us pulling them out on our own. Hard core axing and digging. But they are out and I can now, for the first time since I've lived here, do some landscaping! Woooohooooo!

“It’s like when you wish you could lose weight. Then one day your heart sinks so low it fills your belly with a dull throb. And you realize you got what you wanted, but it isn’t at all what you had in mind.”

Burned raw by exposure to myself Shattered reflections of truth and exaggerations of it Branded by failures blistering hot Scars bubbled, red, tender and telling Originating deep below my translucent skin

Oh, the commencement speech that Ellen gave at Tulane University. I read it once and laughed. I read it again and teared up. I read it a third time wishing I had written the words - and that is when I decided that I had to share it here with you. There are times in life where it takes so much bravery and conviction just to be who you are. But it's so worth it. You can't live fully behind any kind of mask. You can't love fully unless you just let your heart go. You can't succeed unless you are fully applied. Don't waste time being afraid. Love and life are here for the taking. We just have to be open enough to let what is ours come to us and be willing to embrace it. Thank you Ellen for taking a risk years ago. Thank you to the people in my life who made every inch of understanding take me a mile. "Really when I look back on it, I wouldn't change a thing. I mean, it was so important for me to lose everything because I found out what the most important...

Who invited in the hen Eggs laid carelessly Left to hollow Without proper nurturing All across our floor Why do we so clumsily trample them These chards of life and possibility With insecure steps So they easily slice at our will Shattering trust and understanding Can our solid wood floor Now saturated with mixed blood and intention Be swept and mopped to reveal the truth One egg of unity cradled Delivering life through this fragility

It’s amazing how much we can affect the people in the space around us. One person’s expression, one conversation, one smile, one slight, one explosion of laughter – they all change the air. It’s extremely important to be aware of the energy that we are putting off and receiving. No matter how unaffected some of us try to be – as humans we are like sponges. We suck up all of what is going on around us and then we either keep it in and swim in it or we slowly leak it out and pass it through an emotional chain reaction to the next person that we come into come into contact with. We can either be a source of light or a source of discontent. The biggest danger to our emotional well being and our relationships with those in our lives are the moments when we don't even realize the vibe we are throwing off or have knowledge of where it came from. We act out of emotion and destroy moments with angst that might not even be ours to begin with. Be aware. Learn how to repel negative and soa...

I’ve had a lingering version of writer’s block for a few weeks now. I want to explore topics, I do. But as I try my brain seizes up like a sponge, emptying my linear thoughts into a thick pool of inseparable goo that makes its way into my fingertips. I come here and muck it out for you so that writer’s block doesn’t turn into effort block. Through my pondering on the topic of writer’s block I started thinking about what it really is. I feel as though I’m either not exposing my brain/life to topics that inspire me OR I’m emotionally blocked and just unable to communicate completely. I need some inspiration to start exploring and freeing myself up. What do you do when you just can’t get the words to fall into place?

Just as I was taking my last bite of yogurt I looked down and saw this little guy peering helplessly out of my bowl. I swiped my spoon over him a couple times to give parts definition, but essentially he is a creation of nothing but random swipes of the spoon. What could have so easily been rinsed and unnoticed turned into something quite wonderful. If you want to see amazing things...you simply have to take the time to look.

Right now I feel like I’m in a stage of life where things just don’t come easy. I feel like I’m struggling to find a comfortable position and that the transparency has opened me up to heavier critique – from myself and others. It’s a heavy place. One I’ll chalk up to a time of growth. I wish it were easier for us all to see people in their intention rather than in their action. If we could see what all of the struggle was really for maybe we’d be able to more easily help each other get where we are trying to go. Unfortunately it’s not that easy. We see what think we see. We need what we think we need. We don’t have the ability to filter things through anything but our own self. And sometimes our self isn’t right. And sometimes even if it is right it’s only right for us. And sometimes being right doesn’t even matter. I mean really isn’t peace the real victory? Not being at war enough for their to be a right or a wrong at all. A "live and let live" kind of thing? ------...

Between last post and this one is very tired set of seven days. And now it's Friday, I'm going bananas and I don't have anything too inspirational to write. So enjoy the weekend...and hopefully my brain will be back with me next week.

I lifted my water glass and there she was twinkling and dancing beneath it. I remained silent as I watcher her move, keeping her and the dance she spun all for myself. My secret. Some of the most magical feelings I’ve ever felt happen when I notice something no one else sees and I revel in it instead of making it a big deal. It’s about just looking and remaining silent, sharing a moment with the universe. Too many people go through life not noticing little things like the way the light bounces through a scene or the marked sound of a perfectly sharpened pencil scratching across a piece of paper. I try not to miss these things. I want to take life in and really live every moment. Part of the reason is pure enjoyment. The second part is my belief in what Heaven is. I believe Heaven is a place where all the little things that we notice and absorb in our lifetime are abundantly available to us. A state of being where the sights, sounds, feelings and little treasures we hold are prese...

It’s so easy in life to think we know what other people are going through. To think that the answer to their problems is clear – if only they’d see it our way. It’s easy to want to reject people because they just don’t see or do it the way we think is best. It’s easy to think we are right and that others are clearly wrong. And sometimes there definitely ARE “better ways” of doing things that we could nudge people towards. The truth is, however, that sometimes people don’t need, don’t want, or simply aren’t ready for change. Those are the times when it is our job to do what is hardest – turn a blind eye to what we are judging. Sometimes we have to be able to look at people and NOT try to solve their problems. We’ve got to learn how to be able to put our need to control or fix things aside and just open up our arms with love. Provide a sense of stability in a world that just isn't going right, a road that isn't easily traveled . And I’m not saying that our need to control or...

What does it mean when you see a license plate that reads the equivalent of Aunty Em two days in a row?  Nothing I suppose, unless you want to assign meaning to it.  And, I do. I don't know if it was the same car or not, but they were on opposite sides of town. I didn't see the spelling on the first one - I just had it read to me. To me, it means that there really is no place like home.   I think in Cleveland we have some of the most intense skies I've ever seen - complete with dreamy cloud dragons and razor sharp beams of light bursting through clouds.  They are definitely worth paying attention to.   Me and my camera phone love them.

Salty water wells into the stream Brackish prism through which I see Hugging the road that sets you free Focus forward, peripheral disappears from the scene M aking transparent all that lies to the sid E