Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Sometimes all we need is love

It’s so easy in life to think we know what other people are going through. To think that the answer to their problems is clear – if only they’d see it our way. It’s easy to want to reject people because they just don’t see or do it the way we think is best. It’s easy to think we are right and that others are clearly wrong.

And sometimes there definitely ARE “better ways” of doing things that we could nudge people towards.

The truth is, however, that sometimes people don’t need, don’t want, or simply aren’t ready for change.

Those are the times when it is our job to do what is hardest – turn a blind eye to what we are judging. Sometimes we have to be able to look at people and NOT try to solve their problems. We’ve got to learn how to be able to put our need to control or fix things aside and just open up our arms with love.

Provide a sense of stability in a world that just isn't going right, a road that isn't easily traveled .

And I’m not saying that our need to control or fix things is a bad thing. We look out for the people we love. We are able to help each problem solve at times. And people do need other people to see things from a different light.

What I am saying is that in moments where people aren’t able to hear or see a “better way” – we can still be there for them.

I think it’s the hardest thing to do. To look at something or someone gone so wrong and realize that it’s not our place to force change – that maybe our solutions isn’t the one that fits. It's heartbreaking to sit back and watch someone learn a very hard lesson on their own.

It’s hard to embrace someone completely when what they are doing scares you or abandons you or could potentially be perpetuating more harm.

As people we are difficult. All of us. We are all going through things and trying in the ways that we know how.

We are all entitled to failures. We aren’t expected to be perfect.

I know at my lowest points I don’t want to hear how people would have done it different – I’d rather someone just support me to the extent that they are comfortable.

Give love. Give love until it hurts.

Sometimes the pure act of love and acceptance is enough to shine a little bit of light into darkness and lead the way through a problem without forcing it.

I need to remember this too.

3 comments:

Audrey said...

Excellent message! It seems to be an ingrained thing - we need to "fix" others. But you are right - some of our greatest lessons are a result of our greatest mistakes! Very wise post!

cp said...

Thank you for this.

Natalie said...

Did you pick up your award from my blog ages ago?

It was for beautiful writers who share their shadow side.
Great post.