The details of the struggle aren't necessary...I like to keep a little bit to myself at times.
But here is what is important.
There are a few things that work for me during even the most difficult times...and maybe if I share them here they can help you to work through your life struggles as well.
1. Be honest with yourself first. You can't deal with other people if you are fooling yourself. If you do...any resolution you come to will be unfounded and an avoidance behavior. In times of hardship we need to work with what is real and modify real actions. "The truth will set you free." It's overused...but only because it's true.
2. Be gentle with yourself. There are things in life we can't control and our own thoughts are one of them. We can work to modify what we do with them...we can even work to push certain ones away, however punishing ourselves for being human and having reactions is entirely defeatist. Again, it only leads to avoiding a real issue and debilitates us from feeling powerful enough to push through.
3. Reach out for help when you need it, but don't expect anyone to have the single best answer for you. This goes back to being honest with yourself. Our bodies will direct us towards what we need and so will our hearts. We have to figure out the best answers to our life predicaments for ourselves...but outside perspective from people you trust is never a bad thing. If I didn't reach out I'd be bruised and bloodied by my own hands. I admit it...sometimes I need someone else to share my pain with me. I need someone to buffer my self blows...and to buffer me from delivering careless blows to others.
4. Make a commitment to moving forward. Period. My BFF gave me great advice..."it's not helpful to dwell on any one thought for more than 5 minutes." Once you do you are just simply torturing yourself. Think things over...come back to thoughts if you need to...but darn it...MOVE FORWARD. Try something new. Change your outlook. And commit yourself to happiness, with or without immediate resolution.
So here I am trying away. Learning to love and accept myself even when I'm struggling.
Giddup. Giddyup. Darnit Just Do Something!