"I don't mind what happens." E Tolle.
I remember sitting in a Doctor's office in mild panic over a year ago. It happened to be during the time that I was reading through A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. Instead of allowing myself escalate into a deeper cycle of panic I remember taking a line from the book and writing it down over and over again. "I don't mind what happens. I don't mind what happens. I don't mind what happens." Just doing this put me in a place where I could deal with the wait. I empowered myself into believing that no matter what came of that visit I could deal with it. I could be okay with whatever.
Here I am today with no idea what I was even there for...and I am okay. If I had allow myself to lose that day to completely unhealthy thinking...it would have been for nothing. A day lost.
The thing is that if we just allow ourselves to be in a mindset of okayness...we really can deal with anything. Most things don't turn out half as bed we could possible conjure up in our heads. Fear is almost always worse than reality.
Plus, we only have control over a certain number of events in our lives. And that's probably the way it should be. Some things have to happen in order for us to open our lives up to the things that are meant for us. Struggling against something just makes it get larger...hurt more...become paralyzing. Struggling and resistance fill our eyes with gray. When we do that too long we forget how to see the good.
So, for today I am reminding myself that I shouldn't mind what happens. I should find trust that all things happen for a good enough reason and that even if I don't know that reason right now...it's out there.
So, to ease my day I took some advice from the road...
...and made myself a little care package and I'm about to open a new book. And really, if that is what is happening here in my present - I don't have much room for complaint anyways.