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Me.

I move fast. I say what I feel. I reserve the right to change my mind. I could leave almost any material possession behind. My mind never quits. I can’t sleep in. I’m always looking to get high on life…people and thoughts that light my fire. Heart always wins over head. Passion for people is my life’s common thread. I sleep diagonally, but never comfortably. My ailments are an extension of my head. I like to become a part of other people’s experience. Teach me to feel strong, stable and free. And stay. Bring the dreamer out in me. Sometimes reality is too much for me to take. I’ll do something just for something’s sake. I miss my youth, but love the things I’ve taken responsibility for as an adult.

Sometimes the air hits my lungs just right and I remember what it felt like to be a kid. I’m so aware it’s impossible to act oblivious. The words “loved like I should, lived like I shouldn’t” make sense to me. I’ve been told by a boss and friend to “never lose my gypsy spirit.” I can remember distinct moments where I’ve felt on top of my world – and moments where I realized that I let someone else stand between me and my happiness. Sometimes I know someone is taking advantage of me and I let them. I’m bad at dating – but great at loving. I write poetry. I like to live in my head a lot of times. I’m not afraid to admit my faults. There are things about myself I’ve come to accept – even though sometimes they aren’t the easiest things to digest. The best time I’ve had in a while was on the back of a four wheeler, speeding fifty miles per hour – when I got to thinking about it afterwards I realized that it was one of the very few times I’ve had the privilege of not having to hear my own thoughts. I like to tell people how I’m feeling – about them, about others, about my life. I believe that sometimes the person you thought you knew is nowhere to be found in the body you knew them in.“Serendiptiy” – I love the word and the meaning. I believe in people. I believe in myself. I feel like I know what I have when I have it. That scares me in itself because I’m always aware that it can be lost. I fear losing things and people I love. Life is one big lesson…a quest for perfection that can never be achieved. But I believe that being dedicated to the quest itself is enough to saves us from complete failure. I know I’m “getting there.” Serenity means the world to me.

Comments

Queen Mama Mia said…
Jamie, You have the ability at a very young age to know who you are. I commend you and appreciate your extremely talented writing ability right from the heart. Love u,
Aunt Elaine

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